How often do you let other peoples’ emotions overrule your own?
If you stop and think for a second – how are you feeling right now?
Is your current state a result of your own actions or the actions of others?
For example, when someone else is crying, do you often start to cry too? Or say you’re feeling good, it’s a beautiful day and you’re smiling on your way to work and then suddenly your co-worker starts yelling at you about something that is totally unwarranted, does it then ruin your good mood completely?
But it can also work in reverse too!
If you’re not feeling the best and you’re surrounded by people who are laughing hysterically or just absolutely loving life, doesn’t it tend to make you feel lighter as well?
It definitely has its ups and downs – but have you ever thought about why this even happens, or how you can take back control of how you feel?
To put it simply – it’s all to do with your awareness and understanding of yourself and your emotions.
Being aware of how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way.
And one of the first steps to achieving this is to become aware of your emotions as they’re happening – right in that moment.
If you’re able to almost step back from yourself and look at why you’re feeling angry or upset or anxious and think about what’s really causing it and then ask yourself the following questions:
- How am I really feeling right now?
- Is this purely my emotion, or have I been hijacked by someone elses?
- What is MY part in this?
- What is this really about for me?
- How long do I want to keep feeling like this?
The last question is one of the most important and advanced questions you can ever ask yourself because it requires you to understand that the way you feel is a choice.
You can choose to feel angry for 5 minutes, an hour, a day, a year – it’s totally up to you.
It is completely your choice as to how you choose to feel at any given point in time.
Not sure about that? Read on…
You should know that theoretically, it is possible to be happy no matter what your external circumstances are.
Because your emotional state is a function of how you interpret events, rather than what actually happened, as reflected in Milton’s famous saying,
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”
For example – when you interpret a negative co-worker as an obstacle in your way, you will feel angry and frustrated. But if instead you viewed this co-worker as exactly what you need in order to become a better person, then you will experience a sense of calmness, perhaps even gratitude.
I recently had my own emotions hijacked just last week when I let someone who was very stressed and frustrated with life take it all out on me – and for a while I took their negativity on board and believed it belonged to me.
I let it ruin a good half of my day in fact, I sat their stewing for hours before I even realised what was going on!
Want to know how I dealt with it? Watch the short snapchat story below and let me know what you think! And follow us on Snapchat @ InspireAffect for more interesting insights.