Mastering The Art Of Influence

(Don’t like reading? Check out the video below…)

Did you know that everyone on this earth is a sales person?

Yes that includes you and I.

You’re in the business of selling and it’s something that you do all the time (but not always successfully).

Don’t believe me? Hear me out.

The thought of selling or being a sales person is scary, right? It’s something most people tend to avoid.

But aren’t we all selling something every day?

When you ask your fellow colleague to do something for you or even to attend a meeting, aren’t you just ‘selling’ the idea of the meeting to them?

When you ask someone on a date, invite people to your party or even ask someone to clean the house, aren’t you really just trying to sell something?

You’re trying to influence their decision to say yes.

If you think about it like this – any time you ask someone to do something for you, you are technically trying to ‘sell’ them something.

You are attempting to influence them.

But how often does it work for you?

How influential are you?

Have you ever thought about it?

Would you like to improve your ability to influence others?

“Influence is the single most important skill you can master in your lifetime.” – Tony Robins.

Whether you like it or not, you’re trying to influence the people around you every day, so why not work on getting better at it?

Why not make it easier for yourself?

I can tell you there is a trick to it, and it’s simpler than you think…

If you want to be able to influence others in a way in which they understand, appreciate and respond positively to, you simply need to understand the unique way they want to be treated.

You must understand what their needs are, and be able to communicate to them that what you’re offering will meet those needs.

Have you ever heard that saying “treat others the way you want to be treated?” – Turns out it’s not necessarily the best approach.

Because everyone is a little different, right?

So if you go round treating everyone the way YOU want to be treated, aren’t you ignoring their needs?

They might want to be treated a totally different way to you, it all depends on their style of communication.

Because there are four different styles of communication (Purple, Yellow, Red and Blue) that we each use throughout our lives, but there is one style that you are most dominant in, and it colours all of your conversations with the people around you every day.

Not sure what your style is? Check out our test on the Dots website after this to get an idea of what style you might be.

So why does it matter?

Because if you want to have the ability to influence anyone, you need to be aware of the unique ways in which we each like to be dealt with.

And once you know that, you can then quickly assess the best way to influence the person you’re dealing with.

Whether they are future focused and like to talk a lot, or if they need a lot of visual detail from you in order to understand you. Perhaps they just want you to get straight to the point, or maybe they need time to feel comfortable about what you’re saying to them…

If you can understand the other persons’ needs, you can slightly adjust the way you speak to them in order to be better understood.

But how can you do that?

You get trained in the art of influence and communication.

How does it work?

I’ll give you an example – Imagine you want to ask your boss for a pay-rise.

For some people the idea of this already sends alarm bells ringing – awkward conversation ahead, not sure what to say, might get turned down… etc.

Rather than freak out, let’s think about how you could approach the subject in the best way possible.

How can you influence your boss to want to give you a pay-rise?

You can start by determining your boss’s likely communication style with some of the tools we teach:

  • The way they dress (are they a smart or casual dresser?)
  • What their environment looks like (is their desk tidy or messy, personalised or strictly work-related material?)
  • How they speak (do they like to talk a lot, or do they use short-sharp answers – like bullet points? Are they warm and caring, or cold and clinical?)

You see we all give away clues as to what our communication style is through the way we dress, our environment and our words, you just need to know what to look for.

Then once you get an idea of what their communication style might be, you can adjust your approach slightly in order to ‘talk their language’ so to speak.

This results in them understanding your communication, appreciating the way you’re talking to them, and getting along with you better because they like the way you’re treating them.

So how can this work in everyday life?

Picture this…

You walk into your boss’s office and before you sit down you take a quick scan of the area. You look for the obvious clues (the ones I mentioned earlier) and it turns out they’re dressed very practically (not too fancy, but fit for the occasion, slightly worn clothing). Their desk is fairly messy and there are piles of paper everywhere and not much else (no family photos, calendars etc.). They’re not smiling, they look focused and busy, their words are short and sharp and they’re writing a bullet-pointed list of things they need to do.

This quick assessment that you’ve made in the space of under a minute tells you that they might be dominant in the Red DOT communication style – they’re a Rationalist.

How does this help you?

Well what you can do now is speak to them in their preferred Red DOT style.

When you’re skilled in the techniques we teach, you know that Red DOTS want you to get straight to the point, they like to deal with facts, and they hate being lied to.

So if you’re asking your boss for a pay-rise and you think they might be a Red DOT, your approach might go something like this…

“I’ve been working really hard at this job for over a year now” (if this is true),

You could list the achievements you’ve made in the last year (keep it brief though),

Give some supporting evidence as to why a pay-rise is needed (rising inflation, company profit improving, and your workload increasing – anything relevant and factual),

Get to the point – “because of these reasons, I think it is only fair that my pay be assessed and potentially raised to match these rising demands”… or something along those lines.

Now you’re speaking Red DOT style!

They don’t want fluffy detail and emotional blackmail won’t work on them. You have to get straight to the point with enough evidence to support your case.

But this exact scenario only works if your boss is dominant in Red.

What if your boss is Purple? What if they’re Yellow, or Blue?

It can be just as simple to adjust your words slightly to match their style in any of the colours, as long as you know the right techniques and tools to use.

It’s not rocket science, but it works.

And if that is something you would like to explore, send me a message below to find out more about our professional development coaching and how simple it can be to influence someone the easy way.

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Mastering The Art Of Influence from Inspire Affect on Vimeo.

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